Super heros, Discovering your special talents, or the benefits of poverty

Every parent has some moment when their child, usually between the ages of 9 and 11, discovers that there are other people in the world that jump higher, read faster, sing louder, or make better mud pies, get more praise from teachers, have parents with better jobs. 

 This is one of the cruel revelations of many 3rd and 4th graders, and sadly parents everywhere console their children with the idea that everyone, yes everyone, no matter how big or small, smart or dumb, beautiful or ugly...possesses a God given special talent.  Something so special that God or the Universe reserved this talent only for them.   Problem is, in my observation the special talents are often neither useful nor monetizable.

It is not until we pass the 40+ mark until we see that for the most part we are likely mediocre at best, just like everyone else, and not likely to ever accomplish great things.  We spend the next 40 years, if we are lucky enough to survive them, reflecting and trying to build perspective and acceptance of consequences levied to us by the the combination of lack of true talent and ridiculous choices we made in our youth.

I will boast that I have two special talents.  

One is currently under debate in my household, but I still maintain it gives me superhero status.   

Special talent #1 is that when blindfolded I can always tell what kind of container Milk comes from.  Yes - plastic, cardboard, glass or chug.  I'm not a chess whizz, nor can I do complex calculus in my head, my talent is blind container identification.  

Special talent #2 is that I can point to north south east and west with frightening accuracy from almost any location.  This was recently challenged (in Minden NV with one of my Moms) when I was a 1/4 turn off since it was the middle of the NIGHT and I was in another state and in someone Else's house, but this slip up has caused my family to remove my directional super hero crown and trade it in for shock, teasing, and ridicule.  I think it was as hard on them as it has been for me. They have been very quiet since the incident, either they have forgotten it or, know it is now a sensitive topic.  

God gave Mozart the gift of Music, I only got the ability to identify containers and get lost less than the average Joe.  If God only gives you a couple of obscure, hard to apply, talents, it's important that you hang on to them for dear life.  I never became the great Opera singer, nor the apt politician, so I really need to settle in comfort with the ability to identify Milk packaging products, and get us where we need to go.  

So last Saturday my lovely Sadie and I were going to the ATM to withdraw enough money to go to Bakesale Betty's (which is delicious by the way) and Sadie comes back from the ATM and says "mom the ATM says something about insufficient funds"

Fuck.  2 Weeks before Xmas's and a huge school tuition check comes in that was scheduled 6 months ago that we...forgot.  Huge.  Bank accounts overdrawn no cash, very little food in the cupboards beyond pasta, lentils and various rejected condiments. I've felt all week like I was going to make myself sick from adrenaline poisoning from the anxiety of it all.

 For all intents and purposes, I'm the only grownup in the house hold and a bad one at that.  I was such an extreme flake in my early years that I'm sure if ever noticed I would have been voted most likely to become a homeless heroin addict.  That said it's a miracle, that I have a successful career, a beautiful husband, and two amazing teenagers, and having LIVED poverty and my girls LIVED poverty when they were small, I decided that I would NOT let them in on this horrible bank account fiasco.

OH GOD.  Just like old times when we were POOR.  Raced home, figured it out, and started to cook.    I started to cook with every thing in the house so that at least if we were broke, we would all have breakfast lunch and dinner this week.  

Oops I forgot to mention my other special talent. Special talent #3 we could call it,  I forgot this because ever since The Cancer I stopped doing it.  It was a funny thing.  

I can cook.  I'm a really good cook.  I can't help it.   It is not something I work at, I can make great food out of nothing.  And funniest thing is...it's genetic.  I don't use cook books, or watch shows, I'm just a fat girl that likes to eat and it comes, very ,very naturally to me. My birth mom and grandmother are superb cooks, better than me really, again, can make delicious food out of rocks without trying.   I didn't meet them until I was in my twenties, and already cooking. It has to be genetic.  We are all fat and all have blue eyes with a large brown patch in one of them.  The mom I was raised with is an unbearably horrible-awful-terrible-I'd-rather-not-eat-at-all-today-anyways cook. It's genetic.

As a result of the no money factor, we have been eating together at the table, laughing and talking at every meal all week.  Just wonderful.  And that is when it happened...the discovery of Zoe and Sadie's special talents.

We have always known that Sadie is a strategic genius, who explained the intricacies of the infield fly rule to me when she was 6, the first time she ever saw it in action or heard of it, she has a freakish talent for solving puzzles and is double jointed in many major joints in her body, which i discourage her from displaying at all times since it creeps me out. She is borderline genius, and funny and wonderful, and to add to her good fortune, she is lovely. 

Zoe in contrast is good at everything she is brilliant, funny, kind, witty, clever, looks like a french indy actress, and possesses super hero strength.  Think I'm making it up?  Just hug her, it's a painful experience, she is like the bionic woman and could easily break any wine glass if we actually allowed her to hold them.

But this week they both found their true super hero powers, not unlike my uncanny milk carton identification system.

Monday night I made a superb vegetable alphabet soup, using letter noodles I bought years ago as I scraped deep into the quickly emptying cupboard. (Yikes)

Zoe, without looking, was able to identify every letter and number on her tongue with complete accuracy.  She could even read three letter words.   We didn't go beyond three letter words since I am truly an incompetent speller and was afraid I would throw her off.

Sadie, sadly was like me and unless the letter was an "O" completely failed to identify them, until she realized that her tongue is long enough to close one eye and read up to three letters on the tip of her tongue.  Her tongue is that long.   This is something we have known about her, but are continually amazed at the powers this extraordinarily long tongue affords her.  

At that point the contest was over, both girls had mastered the ability to read letter noodles on their tongues while eating, with perfect accuracy.  They are like the wondertwins with complementary skills allowing them to read small letters in a single bound...

Question is, now that we know they HAVE superpowers...will they use them for good...or for evil