playing tennis in the rain

I am predisposed to hate the rain -  today it's raining which is the perfect punctuation to a shitty week.  

 Quite simply rain is dreary, it's wet, and I have never learned to dress appropriately in it so find myself wet and cold 25-100 days a year as we toggle between flood-and-draught-years.   And although I insist that I don't suffer from depression...I suppose the nagging self hatred and perpetual feeling of doom that creeps in on overcast-soggy days is no coincidence and should probably be treated chemically. 

In the interest of trying to feel positive about yet another downpour, I thought I would list the four, and only four things I can think of that are positive about the rain. I'm not going to launch into some cliche about flowers and new beginnings, and although I do not reject cliches for the sole offense of being cliche...that's just not where I'm going.  I think flowers grow just fine in hot houses w/o rain, and new beginnings  require no water of any kind.

here I go:

1. Grass grows in the pasture and I don't have to spend so much money buying grain for the horses. With college looming for the girls, every penny counts.  I committed to this parenting tour de force and will see it through to the end.   (In my industry we call this cradle to grave release dedication)

2. Softball is canceled.  This is the only break I get during the year, as each season changes and I think thank GOD softball is over, I'm reminded that no, in fact softball is never over - it's like obligation torture.  I'm increasingly becoming the parent that other parents suspect me of not loving my children as I don't attend enough games.   I hate games because they make me nervous and I get really into them.  It's not because I'm bored, it's because I don't like the person I become.  When you find your self calling a 10 year old chubby #4 batter the c word for knocking over your daughter you know it's time to skip a few games.

 Some weekends alone there are 8 games.  By the end of tournament season, if I attend all the games I'm so jacked up and aggressive I'm surprised I'm not beating up old ladies on the corner.

3.  I compensate for my incompetency in dressing appropriately for the rain by staying inside, something that until the CANCER I never did.  When I do this,  I snoop into my daughters' ipod playlists and steal them.  It makes me look cool ,if ever, others look at my cutting edge music collection and I'm not embarassed when people can hear music through my headphones on BART.

  

4. My family only plays tennis once or twice a year and it is always in the pouring rain, I don't know why, it's just what we do...  And although it is dangerous in multiple ways, we generally laugh so hard that, as Zoe would say, at least one out of four people participating - pee their pants.  (no comment on which one)   

We never have balls, so we spend the first 15 minutes of the outing climbing through wet bushes finding extremely old and rotten lost balls to volunteer to play one last game for our entertainment.   Since we usually only have one ball, the game motivation is less about trying to win, which is impossible, but in trying to not lose the ball, which is impossible for Zoe.

 

What makes this venture even more unique is that we go to the courts at Mosswood in Oakland.  These courts are a danger at best, broken, hidden, if you don't break your foot, then you will likely get mugged.  At minimum you may step in human shit as it is one of the few public- semi-private spots for crapping used by locals-without-shelters.  

Sean is the only one in the family that can actually play.  The rest of us are terrible, really terrible.  Zoe of course makes beautiful contact with any ball that comes within reaching distance  but then returns the ball with her superhuman strength,  guaranteeing that it will go nowhere near the right landing spot.   Sadie looks like she has potential but has no chance at finding out given the level of ability offered by her teammates.

I hate the rain and four is all I can come up with.  Thanks GOD we don't live in Oregon, I'd have to start buying cans of balls...